Abstract Galaxies are often modeled as composites of separable components with distinct spectral signatures, implying that different wavelength ranges are only weakly correlated. They are not. We present a data-driven model that exploits subtle correlations between physical processes to accurately predict infrared (IR) Wide-field Infrared Survey Explorer (WISE) photometry from a neural summary of optical Sloan Digital Sky Survey spectra. The model achieves accuracies of <mml:math xmlns:mml="http://www.w3.org/1998/Math/MathML" overflow="scroll"> <mml:msubsup> <mml:mrow> <mml:mi>χ</mml:mi> </mml:mrow> <mml:mrow> <mml:mi>N</mml:mi> </mml:mrow> <mml:mrow> <mml:mn>2</mml:mn> </mml:mrow> </mml:msubsup> <mml:mo>≈</mml:mo> <mml:mn>1</mml:mn> </mml:math> for all photometric bands in WISE, as well as good colors. We are able to tightly constrain typically IR-derived properties, e.g., the bolometric luminosities of active galactic nuclei (AGN) and dust parameters such as q PAH . We also test whether current spectral energy distribution (SED) fitting methods reproduce such panchromatic relations, but find their predictions biased and overconfident, likely due to model misspecification, with correlated biases in star-formation rates (SFRs) and AGN luminosities being most evident. To help improve SED models, we determine which features of the optical spectrum are responsible for our improved predictions, and identify several lines (Ca II , Sr II , Fe I , [O II ], and H α ), which point to the complex chronology of star formation and chemical enrichment being incorrectly modeled.