When designing large-scale distributed controllers, the information sharing constraints between sub-controllers, as defined by a communication topology interconnecting them, are as important as the controller itself. Controllers implemented using dense topologies typically out-perform those implemented using sparse topologies, but it is also desirable to minimize the cost of controller deployment. Motivated by the above, we introduce a compact but expressive graph recurrent neural network (GRNN) parameterization of distributed controllers that is well suited for distributed controller and communication topology co-design. Our proposed parameterization enjoys a local and distributed architecture, similar to previous Graph Neural Network (GNN)-based parameterizations, while further naturally allowing for joint optimization of the distributed controller and communication topology needed to implement it. We show that the distributed controller/communication topology co-design task can be posed as an ℓ1-regularized empirical risk minimization problem that can be efficiently solved using stochastic gradient methods. We run extensive simulations to study the performance of GRNN-based distributed controllers and show that (a) they achieve performance comparable to GNN-based controllers while having fewer free parameters, and (b) our method allows for performance/communication density tradeoff curves to be efficiently approximated.